The end

Hello. It's that time of year again to create best-of lists. Here are mine:

Music:
This is a difficult topic because not every year is a good year. This was a moderately bad year for music.
Justin Timberlake- Futersex/Lovesounds: I think Justin proved that as long as he works with the best producers in the biz, he will make fun, dancable, sexxxy songs. This album completely crashes and burns after track 6. Half the album is embarassingly bad. But the first half is so good that I can still put this on the best-of list.

Band of Horses- Everything all of the Time: The song "weed party" is so addictively wonderful. I can't even count the number of times I played that song while walking out of work (that is, before my ipod diepoded). Something about the way the guitars come in and the way it magically syncs up with the hustle-a-bustle of Michigan Avenue and the feeling of being done with work for the day, well, that's a feeling that I just can't get from any other song.

Thom Yorke- The Eraser: I mean, I LOVE LOVE LOVE Thom Yorke and Radiohead, so he could've just recorded sounds of having diraohea (hopefully my friends understand why it's spelled that way) and I would've loved it. What came out wound up sounding like a brainstorming session for the next Radiohead album, but I still love it. Basically, the important thing I got from this album is that Thom Yorke is very creative, but, something IS lacking without his bandmates. Still, valliant effort.

The Fiery Furnaces- Bitter Tea: The song "Waiting to know you" is heartbreakingly good. For the perpetually single, this song is a lay-on-the-floor-and-cry-like-you're-an-angst-ridden-sixteen-year-old. This band is quirky, many of their lyrics are strange and incomprehensible but often sung in a way that communicates exactly what they mean. (If that makes sense)

And the best album of the year (as determined by me): THREE WAY TIE!!!!
Girl Talk- Night Ripper: I have never danced harder or more enthusiastically. The track titled "Bounce that" is infectious and is stuck in my head forever. forever. and ever. amen.

Neko Case- Fox Confessor Brings the Flood: She sings about the Blue Line. Humboldt park murders. things being easy for pauline. What's not to like? I can't decide what song is my fave. Lately I've been listening to "Maybe Sparrow" and "the needle has landed" a lot. Although, "widow's toast" "that teenage feeling" and "hold on, hold on" have all been on heavy rotation. And if you've never heard her rendition of "this little light of mine" (it's on a different album), it will bring out any poor white trash/hillbilly that might be deep within your genes.

Beruit- "gulag orkestar": I hate that these kids are younger than me. and I love that I feel like a gypsy when I listen to this album.

Whoops

So it looks like I get the urge to blog towards the end of the month. Maybe it's my natural cycle.

Let's see, not much is new with me. I got a second job at Trader Joe's. Honestly, it's not a bad place to work. But with my full time job and the Trader Joe's, and the lack of a day off, this may have been a mistake. I'll see if I can't rearrange my availability to give myself a day off. Here's to hoping.

My good friend, Erin, is making headlines. The Washington Post, the Advocate, The Maneater... she's everywhere! Her amazing Brady Project may actually make a difference on campus. Basically all you need to know is that Brady Commons at Mizzou is named after renowned homophobe/racist T.A. Brady. She's trying to get to school to reconsider it's naming of this building. The argument against it is pretty lame: Brady wasn't the only racist, and we can't rename all the buildings. Which is, of course, pretty lame. The University could rename the buildings if it wanted, but MU has never really cared that much about it's more shameful past moments, and doesn't think it needs to atone for any of it's sins. Ahh, my alma mater.

I've been feeling kind of stuck lately. My job(s), my friendships, my future, my relationship status. I'm trying to work on me. And that's always been my cop out so that I wouldn't have to deal with dating/feel bad about myself for being perpetually single. But, as corny as it sounds, my goal right now is to be a person that I would want to date. And I don't just mean that in a physical lose-weight-ya-fatty sense. I want to be a positive, healthy, interesting, funny, financially solvent, attractive (gasp, I said it) person. It will, of course, take work, and I'll have to put myself out there more and actually try, but I think it'll be worth it. At least I hope it will. I'm not getting any younger, and I might as well try to improve myself/my life... right? And as I write this the Rilo Kiley song "the good that won't come out" is playing. Creeeepy.

I've also come to understand that people either "get" me or they don't. Most of the people I work with at Trader Joe's "don't." I'm odd, I'll admit it. AndI just have a sense of humor that most people don't get. I'm too cynical, too sarcastic, too sharp-tongued. Hopefully they'll come around. I have met a couple cool people there. But most of the people say things to me like "smile more." That has to stop. I'm working and I'm by no means rude, but I'm also not going to feign some artificial euphoria for no particular reason. For all my complaining, the extra cash has been great.

In other news, I got to go to the Morrissey concert last week. It was great. He's not washed up at all. He's still got the moves, the voice, the deadpan self worship/decpriciation... the total package. He is, as most of you know, one of my idols.
So far in 2006 I've seen Ricky Martin, Madonna, and Morrissey. Now, if I can manage to see Liza Minnelli before the year's end, I will have collected the last piece of the gay live music amulet... and I'll be immortal!

Although, I am planning on seeing Girl Talk on new year's eve... that might be an acceptable substitute.

Thanks for the wine, employer.

Well, today we had a little send off for a client we will no longer be doing business with. I, being the vulture or left over food and drink that I am, took a barely touched bottle of yellow tail cabernet sauvingnon. Yum! Thanks employer.

Things have been kind of blech lately. I got a part time job because I'm brizzoke. And now I'll have money but no time to spend it. Oh well. I'll be working at Trader Joe's! Which will be nice, because I'll have a discount on food that I shouldn't be eating anyway. One particularly snarky coworker reminded me that people are "friendly" there and I am frequently "less than friendly." Whatever, customers can't expect to be treated nicely EVERYWHERE they go. Just kidding. Or am I?

I've also been very preoccupied by a long distance crush. Yes, you've read that correctly. Long distance. He lives no where near me, has no plans to move to Chicago, I'm not moving to him. He probably doesn't even like me. But I can't help feeling that there is a connection. I know I'm not giving many details, but it sucks feeling attracted to someone who literally lives in a different world than you.

Blech. Such is life.

Let's go to the beach tonight, with a bottle of wine.

It's been awhile. Whoops. I'm a bad blogger. I'm listening to the Office and blogging now. That's where tonight's title comes from. My love the Office.

I've fallen into a hole of work. It just doesn't end. Markets get reassigned, I have to transfer files, update my new records, follow up on old stuff, help other people... blech. Work. I'm strangely invigorated by it, though. Maybe I'm a big dork but I want to succeed at this. I started off not wanting to be in media at all and now I'm kind of hooked. Even though it's repetitive and can get boring and mind numbing, I find it interesting and important in successfully executing an advertising campaign. I think the advertising field is undergoing massive changes and I think GSD&M is trying to stay ahead of the curve on these changes. So, go us!

In other, more important news, I went to St. Louis two weeks ago for a wedding. Kim Belcher is now married to Ryan Pepple. They are very cute together and too attractive. And I hate them. Acutally that's a lie, I gave them money.

I stayed with Jason, who is now a double cancer survivor. It was great to see him and see him healthy. He's still healthier than I am. He ran a 5k, had breakfast and came back home before I even woke up. So, he's getting back to his old self. Which is great and I'm so proud of him for so fearlessly facing down cancer twice. Here's to Jason being in the clear for good.

Speaking of Jason, he came and visited this past weekend. I was working so much and had a cold and did not want to go out. I did see him some, not as much as I wanted to though. Still, it was nice to see a lot of Sweet Pea this month.

In bad news, my camera is acting the fool. It won't let me delete any pictures from the memory card or download them to my computer. And I've got some great pics that need to make it to my flickr. I'm sad about it. Hewlp.

TV TV TV TV TV

Well after spending an entire day of working with TV and radio advertising buys, I went ahead and spent my evening watching the programs I purchased.

First up was "the class". I, personally, like this show. The writing needs to get tighter and the romantic tension was pretty stale, but I hope for the best. Many of America's favorite comedies took some getting used to and needed an adjustment period. The chick from "Mean Girls" is the real show stealer. Maybe it's because she's the only character I identified with.

Then I started channel surfing. I watched a bit of "How I met your mother" (I think). It had Doogie Howser MD in it so I'm pretty sure that's what I was watching. (Wow, I'm a good media buyer) Mildly entertaining.

Then I got sucked in by an amazing episode of Super Nanny. God, I love that show. I can't stop watching it. The kids were awsome. At one point the mom said, "five minutes and you take a bath." The kid's response: "Five minute and you take a dump." These kids could probably write for an NBC comedy and it would be an improvement.

Speaking of NBC, I totally spaced and forgot to watch "Studio 60 from the Sunset Strip." I watched the last 1/2 hour of it. The feel is just like West Wing. Big shocker, it's an Aaron Sorkin production. I liked what I saw. I was interested in the characters and interested to see where they take it. I'm still mourning the death of West Wing. Where is President Bartlett? And CJ. Oh CJ, I miss you. My only complaint is that it needs to be funnier. I feel like it wants to be a comedy but doesn't know how.

I think a lot of people want comedies. The entire TV landscape is occupied by crime dramas and reality TV. Thankfully only the strong have survived the reality showdown (Super Nanny, Wife Swap, Survivor , etc).

I'm still looking forward to seeing the unveiling of "Six Degrees", "Brothers and Sisters", "Jericho" (because I have had a mini-crush on Skeet Ulrich since "Scream" and his name is Skeet...lil jon is laughing somewhere) and "The Nine." My biggest hopes and dreams are with "30 rock." Anyone who knows me knows my LOVE of SNL. And this show has some of my favorites from my favorite show. Speaking of which, when is Molly Shannon going to get a show? I love Molly Shannon.

Of the returning series, it's basically everything I watched last year: Desperate housewives, Grey's, and Law and Order SVU. God I love SVU
.
To paraphrase myself when I play video games: TV TV TV TV TV TV TV.

It was a great street.

Well, anyone who's been around me for the past year has probably heard my rants on the death of Marshall Field's, my hate of Macy's, and my vow to do my department store shopping at Carson's . There's just something about the way things went down that don't sit right with me.

In my fantasy world, Federated, Macy's parent company, would've announced their plans to change Fields to Macy's. Then Chicagoans would've revolted en masse. And people did bitch and eventually protest. The papers would've decried the death of Fields as an assault on the city. Decendents of Marshall Field would've gotten their rich faces in front of every TV camera in the city and fought this. The Mayor (who, I love, even if I shouldn't) would've fought this tooth and nail. Lots of people would've cut up their Macy's cards and mailed them to the CEO of Federated. Federated would've been seen as a hero when they, at the last minute, decide to keep Field's alive, announce their plans to reinvigorate the brand name and make Field's innovative again.

Instead, the papers basically rolled out the red carpet for Macy's. Federated was allowed to quote polls that couldn't have been accurate that said people would still shop at Macy's. The Mayor rolled over for Federated when they said they might bring Frango mint production back to Chicago. People mostly shrugged their shoulders and said, I hope they still have the pretty windows at Christmas.

There are several things that bother me about this whole deal.
1) Marshall Field's State Street is a tourist attraction. People who come in from out of town don't say "Let's go visit the department store on State Street." They go to visit the Marshall Fields on State Street. They go to see the shopping palace, they go to the Walnut Room, to see the Tiffany Ceiling, to get that iconic green bag, and take part in something uniquely Chicago. They've killed the local brand. They've killed the tourist attraction.
2) Every place in America is becomming like every place else. Soon, every city will be a choice between getting your groceries at Kroger or Safeway, going out to eat at Chili's or Friday's, your useless stuff from Walmart or Target or, I guess Kmart, and buying your clothes at Macy's or Nordstrom. Not that shopping is the only thing that makes places unique, but let's face it, we're part of a consumer society. A big part of regional identity are the places that we shop at. Marshall Field (along with Sears and Roebuck, Carson-Pirie-Scott, and Montogmery Ward) had a big part in making this city the economic hub it is today. They made this place more than just a stacker or wheat, hog butcher to the world. Sears is in having trouble and who knows how much longer they can hold on, Carson's is abandoning their own iconic State Street Store, and Wards has been gone for several years now. On top of that, last year BankOne (the former 1st Chicago Bank) became Chase. It just seems that everthing these days is getting taken over by New York brand names. Not everyone wants where they live to be like New York. If I wanted New York, I would move to New York.
Ok, I'm ranting. Rant done.



In other news, I bought the new Justin Timberlake today. It's soooo good. I'm hooked. And souless. I decided today that I would buy the first CD in more than a year. And I had narrowed it down to the new Beyonce, the new X-tina, JT, or the new TV on the Radio. Considering that I had (illegally? honestly I don't know if it was or not.. I burned it from a friend) downloaded the TV on the Radio awhile ago, that was out of the running, for the time being. And when I got to Best Buy, Justin was only $9.99. Ladies and gentlemen, we have a winner.

Ok, time for my Justin to sing me to sleep. He is bringing Sexy back, you know.

Boioioioioiong

I think I just wet myself a little

http://wii.nintendo.com/home.html

My shuffled mix.

So this is kind of fun. You open up itunes (or whatever lame player you're using) and hit shuffle and write down the first 10 songs that play.

Here's mine:
1. "take the fifth" by Spoon
2. "Hold on, hold on" Neko Case
3. "his truth is marching on " by Mike Doughty
4. "Hombre" M.I.A.
5. "I" Andrew Bird
6. "Fight Test" Flaming Lips
7. "True Religion" The duhks
8. "Climbing up the walls" radiohead
9. "How High the moon" Dianne Reeves
10. "Stylin'" Foxxy Brown

Missouri Loves company

Well, I just got back from my first trip to Columbia in quite some time. It was so strange being back. I, of course, miss all of my friends from there, but it's kind of sad to see that people change. I've always hated change. Even though it's an inevitable part of life, I avoid it at all costs.

Needless to say, people change. We move on, we adapt and you can't do much to stop it.

In other news, I think I may start looking for a different job soon. I like my employer. I like the work I do but the pay is abysmal. I simply have too much debt and living in the city is too expensive to continue my tenure here much longer.

I guess money has been on my mind a lot lately because it's a problem. When I am short on it, it's all I think about. For example, my friend from college is getting married in St. Louis at the end of September. That means I need to get a gift (about $100), a hotel room (who knows how much) and pay for travel ($100 in gas, approx). In order to travel I need to get car repairs (about $800... don't ask). In november I have car insurance due-- that's a lot of money. With my income, I just don't have enough to cover that. I've already told myself that I have to buckle down and not go out, not spend money and make this happen. I can be boring for two months, right? We'll see. I have a terribly hard time saying no to things. Pizza, drinks, concerts, movies, dinner. But I've got to, because I can't keep putting off paying down my debts. Whoever invented credit cards is an evil genious.

So about my job, I think I'm going to start looking in PR again. Media is interesting, if a bit dry at times. I'm not sure that I can see myself check post logs and buy specs for the rest of my life. Plus with Tivo threatening the value of broadcast buys, who knows if there will even be media buyers like there are now in 10-15 years.

PR was always my passion in college. It's what I wanted to do and somehow I let my desperation for a job threaten that. I brief but important gchat with my friend Julie reminded me that I did, at one point, love PR and thought of work in no other field. Now I just have to find an agency that I can convince that to. Although, I can already think of one place I will not be applying.

America, you're a big girl now. A big fat, greedy, bitchy, selfish girl.

Happy birthday USA! Wow, I remember when you were 210 years old and my grandma and I listened to Ray Charles sing America the beautiful while the pretend bombs blew up in the air. Those were the days. Ok enough nostalgia. America, you've got a problem that needs to be addressed. You are unable to make good decisions. I mean, the oil problem-- you just can't seem to get off the sauce. You're in debt up to your ass and you keep charging. Also, America, are you on your rag? Because you have been raging against the world like my mom on a cleaning rampage shouting about what "fucking pigs" we all are. I'm just wondering. Hopefully, you can work through some of these issues. You need to or you're going to be 4000 pounds, homeless and have creditors on your back. Maybe you should get a job at Heavenly Bodies and start paying some of that shit down. Sorry, girl. I'm just trying to help. Don't start crying. You ALWAYS do this. You ask me what I think and I tell you and you start crying because you're drunk.

Ok, enough of that conversation with America. I was told today by several people that I don't update my blog enough. I had no idea anyone was even paying attention. So, I'll try to be better about updating my blog. I promise, Pat.

I had a lovely bar-b-que today. It went really well. Several groups converged at my house. Enjoyed some hamburgers, italian sausages, hot dogs, and delicious veggie kabobs (thanks Jen). Also, my ad-hoc potato salad was a hit. Honestly I just added what I thought belonged in potato salad and people loved it. Apparently rats and dead babies go in potato salad... who knew?

Also, I know what it sounds like to live in a war zone. Literally everyone in this neighborhood was lighting off fireworks. It was symphonic and frightening at the same time.

Madgetasitc

So, there I was with my terrible $55 Madonna tickets. $55 is a lot of money for a concert... for me at least. And I had the worst seats in the house. They were basically behind the stage. Ashley and I walk in, they scan our tickets and the scanner makes this strange beeping noise. The angry black lady like I've seen on TV tells us we have to go over to this other table and talk to them about our tickets. I get nervous.

"We are not seating people in this section," the girl sitting at said table informs us. "We have to seat you in a different section. Your new section is section 6, row 6 seats 1 and 2."

That's right, I got transferred from the nose-bleed seats to floor seats! 'shley and I were at the end of the runway, about 20 feet away from Madge. And it was amazing. Ahh, Madge, whadaya do to me?

Fare thee well cigarettes

Well, this is big, but I had a revelation when I came out of the Spaulding exit of the Blue Line L stop today. I walked up teh stairs and was out of breath. Not panting and gasping for air... but still a bit winded. To me that's not normal. At 24 I should be able to go up a flight of stairs without being winded.

Monday starts a new week in the advertising world. The broadcast calendar starts on a Monday... not a Sunday, like you weirdos in the real world. Also, the month of June starts on May 29... but that's for another time.

This week I'm quitting smoking. And I'm holding myself to it this time. It's going to be difficult and painful and hard to stick to. And I'm really going to want to smoke. But, this has gone on long enough.

I realized the other day that given my family's medical history, I can't rely on good genes to keep me healthy. I've got an uphill battle ahead of me, but I'm not a rebelious 17 year old anymore. I'm a 24 year old who can't go up a flight of stairs without thinking he's going to pass out.

randomunendingneverstoppingsentences.

I worry that I've lost my creative sensibilities. I have a lot of friends who write. And I think that's great. But I get a little bitter when I hear them talk about it or when I see an actual manuscript. I have no patience or attention span with which to write.

I used to fancy myself a creative person only I'm not so sure why I ever really thought that now. I can't seem to get truly creative thoughts out of my head and on paper. Not more than a couple sentences at least.

I think everyone knows about my book that I've been perpetually writing and deleting. I honestly think I have a creative and very workable idea. I certainly have a unique outlook on life. What I lack is the motivation to sit down and write it. I can't get thoughts out in an organized manner. Much like this blog entry, I start writing it and I have no idea where it goes.

I, personally, blame my education. Journalism teaches you to boil down what you're trying to say to it's most essential words. More words= wasted paper, wasted broadcast time, lost money and time. I spent 4 years boiling down flowery prose to a headline, a tag-line, a big idea, a unique selling proposition, etc. And now I feel like I've gotten to this point where I can't expound upon ideas. I can't unpackage thoughts and feelings and ideas I have and turn them into a creative expression.

What's happened to me?

Good better best, never let it rest.

I've decided a goal that I want to work dilligently toward is keeping my finances in check. Suze Orman had definitely motivated me to do so. I just made all my payments, balanced my checkbook and dried my eyes at just how little money I have. Tear. And to make matters worse, when I get paid next, I have to then pay car insurance (yuck), then wait until my next paycheck, fix my car (sick), then pay rent, student loans, credit cards... and that's before I even do ANYTHING fun.

Oh well, I just have to buckle down for a few months and get things paid for... then, the world is my oyster.